


Forever Alone

by lokiisntdead



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Being a Little Shit, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lightsabers, Movie: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Sad Ben Solo, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, That's Not How The Force Works, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, The Force Ships It, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokiisntdead/pseuds/lokiisntdead
Summary: You grew up with Ben Solo, trained with him, shared your every secret with him at Luke Skywalker's Jedi Academy but one day, when the darkness takes over, Ben offers you a place on the Dark Side. Do you join him or stay with the Light with Luke?
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	1. Greetings

"Yes Master" You say as you take his hand and follow him along with a dozen other students like you. He lets go of your hand and leads you to a large ship where you and the others were led to a room. The others spread out, some gather in pairs and begin talking. Master Luke leaves the room with a smile that you kindly return and watch as he shuts the door behind him leaving you with a bunch or kids you don't know and who you're going to be stuck with for who knows how long. You walk to the one small window in the room and pull yourself up onto the window sill and stare at the ground as the ship takes off. You suddenly feel a wave of loneliness wash over you as you watch the only home you had ever known fall out of view. You pull your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around them as you watch the stars fly past. As the ship prepares for light-speed, you hop down from the window and as you feet meet the ground you see another pair of feet parallel to yours. You look up and see a young boy standing in front of you. He was a few inches taller than you with flowing black hair and soft brown eyes. There was something threatening but inviting about his appearance. He looked about a year older than you, probably about 13 or so. When your eyes met his, you noticed the speck of gold and green. Realizing you had been staring at him, you quickly dart you eyes to the ground, blushing.

"You were blocking the window." He spoke, his voice assertive yet kind.

"Sorry, I was um just..." You stutter, refusing to meet his eyes. You've always been socially awkward and never really understood talking and the science of verbal communication. You've always been more of a body language person. Instead of replying he simply walked up to the window and watched as the galaxies flew by. You went to walk away but you were stopped by his voice.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" He says looking back at you. You shrug and join him by the window. You stand there in silence for a few minutes, quietly listening to the small talk of the other students.

"Was that your home?" He asks looking down at you. You just nod and continue staring of into the distance.

"It was mine too." He smiles, clearly hoping that you would return it but instead you shift your gaze to floor. You can feel his smile fall and watch as he sticks his hand out to you.

"I'm Ben. Ben Solo." He states. You grab his hand and finally meet his eyes.

"Y/F/N." You reply smiling a huge grin. You watch and amusement flashes across his eyes as his smile mirrors yours.

"Y/N, I like that." He chirps, his smile growing. He releases your hand from his grip and walks over to a corner where there's a table with a few chairs, you sit down and begin conversation.

"My dad's always off smuggling something in some other universe and my mom is always off leading the resistance or something. I mostly just stayed at home, that was until Uncle Luke offered to teach me. Of course my parents didn't object, I wasn't doing anything other than staying at home. Then we'll, you know the rest." He finished, looking back up at you from his hands. You smile, feeling honoured that he trusted you. He trusted you enough to tell you about his parents and his feelings. You look deep into his eyes and study the specks of green and gold. They seem to shine the more you look at them.

"What about you?" He asks, breaking you from your trance.

"I...uh. I'm not nearly as interesting as you." You reply sheepishly. The thought of your parents made you shutter. Well the thought of your mother did.

"Cmon, you can't be that boring. Give me a summary then, you don't need to go into detail." He smiles, getting more comfortable talking to you.

"Well, I uh. My parents are pretty much nobody, not war heroes like yours. My dad works at the local market rebuilding and selling droids and parts. My mom, well she just stays at home with my little brother, Baze. He's only three but he's my mothers favourite. He's a spoiled brat and would always pick fights with me. No matter the circumstances, my mother would always favour him and he would always get whatever he wanted. My mother took what little money my dad made and spend on stupid shit for my brother." You feel yourself get angry at the mention of your mother mistreating your dad. You quickly calm down as to not scare Ben, your only friend. "My dad was the best though. He taught me all sorts of stuff about droids and I was working on my own when Luke came to get me. I was nearly finished too. I don't know if I'll ever get to finish it." You conclude, happy with the lie you just made up. Well half of it was true. The part about your dad being the best and your brother being a brat. But the big lie was your mother. Instead of staying home and watching Baze or cooking or taking care of you, she was out sleeping with everyone in the damned town. She was never home and when she was, she spent it with Baze teaching him to be a spoiled brat to get what he wants. Just like her. That's what she did to your dad. She made him fall in love with her and had him wrapped around her finger. She got him to marry her and then have you. As soon as you were old enough not to need her, she threw you into your dads care and went off to town. She started sleeping with a few people here and there and dad didn't find out until she was pregnant with Baze. He demanded a divorce but she threatened to hurt you and ruin his business if he did. So he was forced to keep working his ass off while she was off throwing money around and sleeping with everyone in the town. She must have like maybe ten children now throughout the town. Without you included. And every time she did the same thing, once the baby was no longer needing a mother, she left it with the father and never returned. Your dad worked hard day and night just to keep her happy and you safe and in the midst of it all, he still found time to spend with you. In that little time, he taught you everything he knew from droids to old Jedi stories. You didn't think the Jedi were anything but a myth until Master Luke came to your door today and offered you a place in his Jedi academy. And here you are. Forever hating your mother and despising your brother. Well step-brother. You've never met any of your other step-siblings. Baze is the only one that lives with you because the dad died. You felt a lump in your throat rise and tears form in your eyes as you thought of the life you had. You force the lump down and shake the tears from your vision. You have a new life now. A new life with Ben and Master Luke and all the other students. This was your much needed fresh start.

Ben just stared at you in astonishment, no particular emotion on his face. He had a way of showing his emotions, not through facial expression but his eyes. Your dad was the same way. His eyes showed surprise and confusion. He was obviously trying to process all the information you threw at him, because let's face it, that was a whole life story let alone a quick summary without details. You begin to feel tense and scared that maybe you pushed him away. Maybe he won't be your friend and that you'll go back to being alone. As if sensing your fear he quickly perks up and smiles half-heartedly.

"Wow, I mean. I," He starts and you prepare to face one of the biggest rejections in your life. "I just wasn't expecting that. There's a lot more to you than what meets the eye." He jokes, and you feel relieved. You feel all the muscles inside you body relax from what was possibly the most stressful moment of your life. Then a new feeling washes over you. A mixture of relief and happiness. It felt so good to let that painful story off your shoulders. Well, half of the painful story.

"Yeah...uh sorry. In case you haven't realized yet I'm not very good at this whole social interaction thing." You squeak, trying to put some humour into the situation. Surprisingly it works and instead of Ben's usual comforting smile you are met with a lovely sound. He starts to laugh. His laugh is very low in comparison to his voice but it's sweet at the same time. You join in and suddenly realize how weird your laugh is. You quickly stop laughing and smile.

"Really, I never thought someone as-..." Ben was cut off by the sound of the ship landing. Both your eyes drift to the window which is now crowded with students. Moments later Master Luke appears in the doorway.

"Welcome to my Jedi Academy." He says kindly and beckons his students to follow him. They all follow quickly, stumbling over each other to get a better look at this new planet. You and Ben follow quietly occasionally exchanging glances but mostly focusing on the new surroundings. You feel your jaw drop once you get off the ship when you get a good look. You glance at Ben to see his mouth partly open too. Never in you life did you think that you would have ended up here, of all places...


	2. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrive at Master Luke's Jedi Academy and you learn more about this Ben Solo, this boy that might be your only chance of a friend.

Your eyes went wide as you took in your new surroundings. There was so much green, your eyes couldn't keep up with it all. There was a beautiful luscious forest to your left and a quiet lake to your right. And in front of you was the Academy. It was a series of buildings, one large one straight ahead and other smaller hut like structures around it. You assumed those were the tents you would be staying in. It was all so breath taking, it took you a minute to recover from all the green.

You look over from the large forest to Ben. He had the same expression on his face as you. His eyes wide and jaw dropped. You'd think that someone whose parents are war heroes would have at least travelled the galaxy but you guess not. You can see the reflection of the forest in his eyes as he glances around the new area.

After several minutes of staring at each other and the planet, you and Ben move forwards following the rest of the group. One by one Luke says one of our names and points to a hut.

"Y/F/N" He bellows, and point to one hut on the outskirts of the clearing that the Academy was in.

"Ben Solo" He continues and points to the hut beside yours. You look at Ben and he shrugs and starts walking to his tent. You join him and listen as the sound of Master Luke's voice faded out. When you finally reach your huts, you look to Ben. He smiles kindly before disappearing in his hut. You walk into your hut and are met with an odd smell. The smell was almost offsetting, tolerable but still odd. You figured you would have to get used to it. You look around and see a small cot in the corner with several blankets and a pillow. There is a table and a chair, and some drawers in the other corner. On top of the drawers there were some clothes. The pants and the top were tan and white while the belt was brown. You look through the other drawers and see a set of clothes similar to the other one just black and grey instead of tan and white. The bottom drawer had another set of clothes, they were more loose and low cut than the other ones. These were completely black and felt more comfortable than the other clothes you were given. Those were probably your sleeping clothes you figured as you closed the last drawer. You went to go and lie down on the cot and as you sat down, you kicked something. You look down at the ground and see a box. It was a medium sized box with metal along the edges. You brought it up to your lap and inspected the edges.

'Is this supposed to be in my room? I should probably take it to Master Luke.' You thought to yourself. You got up to give the box to Luke but you were stopped by a noise. It sounded like faint whispering. You spun on your heels to face the box that sitting on your bed. You walked closer to it and the whispering became louder. You sat back down on the bed with the box in your lap, full of curiosity. You looked for a latch but found none as you traced your fingers around the edge. It was smooth from each corner to corner except in one place. You continuously ran your finger over the spot making sure that you weren't imagining things. You found a small piece of wood sticking out. You were about to press it when you heard footprints outside you hut. You quickly put the box under your bed and try and look busy.

There is a quiet knock at you door and without thinking you say, "Come in."

"Hey." It's Ben, thank the stars. He is dressed in Jedi clothes, tan from head to toe. Well aside from his jet black hair. He smiles kindly walking in.

"Hey." You answer back moving over and making space for him to sit on the cot beside you. He sits down beside you, making the cot shift. The cot was so small that it was barely long enough for both of you to sit on. There was only about an inch between your bodies and you were constantly leaning the other way as to not bother him.

"You should probably get changed. Uncle Luke is waiting for us in the temple." He says pointing to the set of tan clothes on top of the drawers.

"I guess." You say with no particular emotion, getting up. You watch in your peripheral vision as Ben sinks into the bed. You giggle a little as you grab your new clothes. You turn around and look at him, slightly blushing. He looks up at you, and as if realizing what you were trying to say stands up to leave the room.

"I'll uh...I'll be outside waiting for you." He says shyly and leaves. You wait until you hear the door clothes and quickly take off you shirt. It's wasn't really a shirt it was more just material the you made into a top. You remove your pants, which your dad bought you when he still had some money. You fold your clothes nicely and set them on top of the drawers. You look down at yourself in nothing but your sports bra like top and underwear. You quickly shake your head and grab your new clothes. You put them on and the fit perfectly. Weirdly perfectly. They were tight in the right places and loose in others. You fix your H/L H/C hair into a bun (if possible) and head out the door.

Sure enough, Ben was waiting patiently outside for you. You smile when you see him and watch as he smiles back. He quickly looks you up and down. Almost quick enough for you to miss it. But you don't. You ignore the action and start walking, he quickly catches up with you and starts conversation.

"You know, I never thought in my life that I would end up here, of all places." He states plainly.

"Me neither. I always thought that I would be stuck with my stupid mother for the rest of my life." You joke, trying to bring humour into the situation but instead your voice cracks. Ben looks at you concerned but quickly changes the subject.

"I have a question for you." He chirps, lightening the moods.

"Ok, ask away." You reply, smiling up at him.

"Y/N. Where's it from, who chose it?" He inquired after your name.

"Uh...to be honest I don't know. I know my dad picked it but I don't know where he found it or if he just came up with it. Why do you not like it?" You ask, jumping to the conclusion that you might lose your only friendship.

"No, no. I love it. It's such a cool and interesting name. I've never heard anything like it. I just wanted to learn a little bit more about it...and you." He says, smiling down at you.

"Well then, Ben Solo. Who chose your name? Where did it come from?" You ask, like him wanting to know more about him.

"Well my mom chose I think, before she got too busy with the Resistance stuff. She says I was named after Obi-Wan Kenobi. While he was in hiding he went by Ben Kenobi. He came to rescue my mom when she was in taken hostage by Darth Vader." He finishes.

"Wow, your family is all war heroes and history while mine just a junkyard and a mess. You came from generations of heroes while I came from nothing." You say looking at the ground.

"That's not true." He lies, he knows you are from a junkyard and your family is a mess but his effort to cheer you up put a smile on your face. You raise an eyebrow at him and he continues.

"Ok maybe the junkyard part but you did not come from nothing. You are not nothing, at least not to me." He says shyly. You look up at him and smile.

"I will forever be astounded by that fact that I am friends with Ben Solo, son of war heroes Leia Organa and Han Solo and grandson of Anakin Skywalker." You mock, giggling after. He stops taken aback clearly by something you said.

"We're friends?" He asks, quietly.

"Of course, I mean what else do you call two people who trust each other and are comfortable sharing each other with their deepest darkest secrets." You joke. "Listen, out of all the people I've talked to, which is very few, you are the person that I've talked the most to. In the short time that we've known each other I've probably told you more stuff about me than I probably knew about myself. And I trust you, I don't know why and I've only known you for 6 hours but I trust you. So yes Ben Solo, you are my friend and I hope that you will be for a long time." You smile, happily. Then later you realized what you said and how desperate you sounded. Well you were desperate, he was your only chance of making a friend and you hope you didn't just ruin it. After several moments of silence, he speaks up.

"Well Y/F/N, I hope you will be my friend for a long time too." He says kindly. You continue to walk up the stairs of the temple when you feel a sharp pain in your side. You look over at him and see a smirk on his face.

"That's for mocking me." He teases as you reach the top of the stairs. You both break out into laughter as you walk in and see all the students sitting on the floor and a very impatient looking Master Luke waiting for you.


	3. Caspian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Luke gives you a run down of his Jedi Academy, expectations and rules. You and Ben decide to go on an adventure into the forest to see what else this planet has in store for you.

"Took you long enough. Sit." Master Luke says, cutting off your laugh and you both sit down quietly.

"Welcome, to my Jedi Academy. You have all been chosen because you are all force-sensitive, some of you more than others." He says glancing from student to student.

"You all have much to learn and I will do my best to teach you everything I know and pass of the Jedi ways to another generation of Jedi. I will teach you the ways of the Force and Balance as well as training in you combat with a lightsaber." He continues, at the mention of lightsabers whispers break out from the students, you included.

"What colour do you want your lightsaber to be?" Ben whispers, leaning over to you.

"I don't know actually, I hadn't really thought about it." You whisper back, trying to think of a colour.

"Really? I want mine to be green." He murmurs and leans back over.

"Training starts tomorrow at dawn, I expect you all to be there. I will not wake you up or wait for you if you are not there. Use the rest of your afternoons to settle in." Master Luke finishes. He turns around and disappears around a wall and conversation burst from the room. Some students stayed to explore the temple while other left to explore the rest of the planet, you and Ben included.

"What do you want to do now?" Ben asks as you two walk back to his hut.

"I don't know, we can go explore he forest unless you just want to go back to our huts?" You reply.

"I would like to go for a walk in the forest, how about you?" He asks, gesturing to the forest. You nod and walk towards the tree line. 

You and Ben walk for hours talking about anything. From the droids you found on your old planet to what colour you wanted your lightsaber to be. You decide on purple. Like the Master Windu that you heard about in stories. It all seemed so foreign to you, the Jedi, and yet you found yourself training to be one. You looked up at the sky and saw that it was completely dark, the stars shining above you. You look up at the two moons above you and smile. While admiring the sky, you hear a branch snap and are shaken from you trance.

"What was that?" You ask Ben, looking around for my signs of movement.

"I don't know." He says scanning the trees. Suddenly the brush in front of you rustles and both your eyes dart to the bush. Ben stands in front of you ready to protect you. You are touched by his actions but are sure that after eleven years of living in a junkyard you are capable of looking after yourself. You stand in front of him and wait for the thing to emerge. Ben glances down at you but makes no effort to get in front again. The bush begins to rustle more dragging your attention from each other, then before your eyes the bush transforms into a creature. It's about the size of a large dog, with ears that stand straight up and eyes the colour of the ocean. It was brown with blackish patches along its back and a fluffy tail behind it. It resembled a cat like creature but it also sort of reminded you of a dog thing that one of your dads customers had as a pet. You glanced back at Ben who looked both terrified and curious at the same time. You crouched down in front of it, meeting its eyes with yours. You could see the reflecting of the stars in it eyes, and the more you stared into them the bigger they got. You went to reach out to it, curiosity getting the best of you even though your conscious screams no. You have your arm half extended in front of you and the creature suddenly realizes you are reaching for it. It growls but you continue to extend your arm. It growls louder the closer you get but something inside you tells you to keep pushing.

"Y/N." Ben says quietly, watching from behind you. You ignore him and keep extending your arm until it is completely outstretched only inches from the creatures snout. It's growling so loud you are sure Master Luke could hear it from the Academy. You close your eyes preparing to feel your hand being torn apart but instead you feel soft fur and warm breath against your hand. You reopen your eyes and see that the creature has pressed it face against your hand. You smile and glance up at Ben who has a blank expression on his face. He looks down at you and smiles before crouching beside you. You begin to slowly rub your hand against the creature's head and it leans into your touch. You remove your hand and see the creature walk closer to you, wanting more. You nudge Ben in the side to tell him that he should try. He glares at you before swallowing and slowly extending his hand. The creature begins to back up as Ben extends his arm even more. The creature begins growling again like it did with you and you give a reassuring look to Ben to tell him that it's alright. Once his arm is completely extended and the creature is growling loudly again you signal to Ben to close his eyes and he does. Surely enough the creature gives in and presses its head into Ben's hand. A smile immediately creeps across his face as he opens his eyes. You both pet the creature smiling, not saying a word, just enjoying the moment.

"What are we going to call it?" Ben whispers in your ear as he relaxes.

"Well for starters we won't call him it." You retort, teasing him.

"Wait how do you know it's a him?" He asks looking from you to the creature and then back to you.

"I don't know, I just gotta feeling." You say quickly glancing between the creatures legs to confirm your feeling. Sure enough you were correct and your mind starts to think of a name.

"Well how about Caspian?" Ben chirps, clearly proud of his choice.

"Caspian. I like it." You reply, looking up at Ben.

"Caspian, what do you think?" Ben asks the creature, and he just jumps on Ben nuzzling into his shoulder.

"I think he likes you." You laugh, watching as Ben and Caspian roll around in the grass.

"I think so too." Ben answers through laughs. When you both calm down and Caspian has stopped tackling Ben, you look up at the stars and think of how late it must be. You are supposed to be up at dawn and there probably only a few hours left for sleep.

"It's getting late Ben, we should probably get back. We have to be up for dawn remember?" You say getting up.

"Oh shit, yeah." He says, getting up too. He bends down and pets Caspian on the head.

"Bye buddy, we'll be back later, right Y/N?" Ben says looking from Caspian to you. They both look up at you with puppy eyes and you couldn't refuse.

"Of course, I'm sure Master Luke will give us some extra time. Now Caspian you can't follow us, we don't know if Master Luke will allow you in the camp." You say bending down over Caspian. He looks up at you as if he understands you. You and Ben walk together back to the Academy with Caspian trailing several feet behind you.

"Caspian you can't come with us, ok? We'll be back soon ok buddy?" You and Ben would say but he would continue to follow you. When you reached the edge of the forest, you both had given up in Caspian and figured if he followed you, he followed you. You walked out of the forest side by side and turned around. Surprisingly Caspian was standing at the edge of the forest looking at you. You smile and wave and then a bark like roar echoes through the forest and you and Ben watch as Caspian disappears back into the depths of the forest. You finish the walk to your huts in silence listening to the sounds of the forest and the lake. You reach your hut and you go to enter your hut but Ben grabs you arm and turns you around.

"Goodnight Y/N." He says letting go of your arms. He smiles effortlessly as you do too.

"Goodnight Ben." You yawn, exhaustion of the day hitting you like a brick.

"I'll wait for you out here at dawn." He says, still smiling from ear to ear.

"I'll try not to keep you waiting. See you in the morning." You say and go to enter your hut, hearing Ben whisper back, "See you around," before the door shuts behind you. You quickly change into the black loose clothes that you assumed were your sleeping wear. And like your Jedi outfit, they fit oddly perfectly. You almost collapse on your bed as you lie down and cover yourself with blankets. You shut your eyes and drift of to sleep, dreaming of the days to come spent with Ben and Caspian.


	4. The Crystal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first official class with Master Luke and your task is simple, build your own lightsaber. Should be easy enough, right?

"Y/N!" Ben yells, banging on your door. You are woken from your sleep by Ben's voice. You sit up in your bed and throw the covers off of you. You jump off of your bed and scramble to get dressed into your Jedi clothes.

"Hold on, hold on I'm coming." You yell back as our finish getting dressed. You were running to the door when you tripped over the box from earlier yesterday. You were about to leave it when you hear the whispering again. The banging on your door continues, but you are determined to find out what's in the box.

"Give me a minute!" You yell back trying to find that spot on the edge that wasn't smooth. You found it and pressed on the small piece of wood that stuck out. A sucking sound emerges from the box as it clicks and opens. You see a piece of brown fabric and on top of it a small crystal.

"Y/N I'm going to leave without you if you don't hurry the hell up." Ben calls out, banging on your door almost breaking it. Without thinking you grab the crystal and stick it in your pocket. You close the box and put it under your bed and run out the door.

"What took you so long?" Ben says glaring at you.

"I had trouble...uh getting changed." You reply making sure the crystal is still with you. You feel relieved when you feel the cold rock against your skin.

"Sure." He says smirking at you.

"Can I ask you a question?" You ask, picking up your pace as you speed-walk towards the temple. Ben lengthens his stride to keep up with your speed before saying,

"Sure." He answers.

"In your room, is there a small wooden box under your bed?" You ask, wondering if everyone had the same box that you did.

"A box? No. I don't remember seeing anything besides my drawers and chairs. Why?" He responds, looking down at you with a confused look on his face. You debated telling him about the box or just pretending to ask. You decide that since he is your friend now, he has the right to know.

"Well, I found this box under my bed and it had no opening whatsoever, only a small piece of wood sticking out from the rest. I pressed it and it opened. There was some brown material in there, I didn't really look at it too much but there was this." You say, pulling out the crystal from your pocket. You watch as his eyes go wide with surprise.

"You realize what that is, don't you?" He asks, as if it's obvious. You shrug shyly and look at the ground. He stops and places his hand on your shoulder, stopping you and forcing you to meet his gaze.

"This...this is what's inside a lightsaber. This is the centre and the fuel to it. It's a something crystal I can't remember the name off the top of my head but my mother told me about them." He says placing his hand out in front of you. Trusting him, you place the white crystal in his palm. He brings it up to his face and inspects it closely.

"This is so cool. I wonder if we get our lightsabers today." He says hopefully, placing the crystal back in your hand as you both start walking again.

When you reach the temple you find out that you are not the last people to come. You sit down with the rest of the students and wait for the other students and Master Luke to arrive. It's still dark outside and the sun is just beginning to rise meaning that training would begin soon. When the sun is partially through it's rise and it is officially dawn, sure enough Master Luke comes out from behind one of the walls as he said he would. Just as Master Luke walks over to the students, the last student runs into the temple out of breath. Master Luke shoots them a glare but continues to walk over to you.

"Morning, my young padawans. I'm glad to see you could all make it here on time with no trouble." Master Luke starts, staring at the student who almost came in late.

"In today's lesson you will build your weapon. The lightsaber. With it comes great power but I will warn you, training with a lightsaber requires a lot of work and is very dangerous so I caution you to be careful. I have all the parts that you will need and I will take you through the lesson step by step." He finishes, signalling for the group of students to follow him as he turns and disappears behind a wall. You follow him and see several tables set up with metal parts separated for each student.

"Find a station and don't touch anything until I give you further instruction." Master Luke instructs and you follow. You and Ben get a table in the middle of the room.

"Now does anybody know what is in a lightsaber? What is the centre, the power source of this weapon?" He asks and nobody speaks up, clearly afraid of being wrong. Out of pure instinct you speak up.

"I believe it's some sort of crystal." You say shyly and fell everyone's eyes shift to you. You bow your head to avoid eye contact.

"That is correct, Y/N." Luke smiles at you and continues his lesson.

"I will each give you crystal and you are to put it in the correct spot in your saber." He says before going around the room handing out white crystals identical the one you found in the box. When he gets to you, he glances down at your pocket and smiles. He then skips you and continues handing out crystals to all the other students. You look at Ben and shrug. He shrugs back and you are left questioning your actions.

"Now here are the instructions." Luke says, listing off the instructions carefully and sternly.

"Are there any questions?" He asks, taking a deep breath. One student from the back of the room speaks up.

"Do we get to choose the colour of our lightsabers?" They squeak.

"No I'm afraid not. See as soon as you were assigned that crystal, the colour is already decided. One colour is not better that the other and if you do not like your colour than too bad because that it all you are getting. And no trading crystals or sabers, they are built by you and respond to you, and no one else. Any other questions?" He finishes, sighing deeply. Everyone stays quiet.

"Well then. Off you go." He says and everyone begins to assemble their saber. You look to Ben once and smile. He smiles back and gives you a thumbs up before beginning to start his lightsaber. You watch for a few seconds as he searches through pieces before pulling out the crystal from your pocket and begin creating your own saber.


	5. Navy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your class finishes building their lightsabers and you are one of the first to finish. You'd hoped for a purple saber but what you got was better than anything you could've hoped for.

After several hours of building, you think you have completed your lightsaber. Now all you had to do was put the crystal in the chamber, close the chamber and then activate it. You were about to place your crystal in the chamber when you hear the sound of a lightsaber activating. You turn and see Ben holding his saber, glowing green. You watch as a smile makes its was across his face. Whenever he smiles, you can't help but smile back at him.

"Wow." He says, swinging the lightsaber slightly from side to side.

"You got the colour you wanted." You remark.

"Yeah, I guess I did. How close are you to finishing yours?" He asks, turning off his lightsaber and walking over to stand beside you.

"I just have to put the crystal in the chamber." You say, holding the handle up to show him.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He says, with excitement in his voice. You nod and place the crystal in the chamber. Anticipation bubbles inside you as you close the chamber and stick the handle out in front of you. You make sure Ben is out of the way before you close your eyes. You activate the saber and hear the a relieving sound. You open your eyes and see Ben with his jaw open and his eyes full of surprise. You look down at your saber and now you too have your jaw dropped and eyes full of surprise. Instead of a green or light blue or even purple light, it's almost navy. A dark ocean blue, nothing like the other students'. You look to Ben and shrug as neither of you knew that it was possible to get a lightsaber of that colour. You feel all eyes turn to face you and your new saber, now whirring as you swung it from side to side. You quickly deactivate it and everyone else goes back to finishing their lightsabers.

You walk over to Ben and smile. He smiles back giving you a warm feeling inside as you start conversation.

"Are you disappointed that it's not purple?" Ben asks as you both walk over to your table.

"Are you kidding me? No, I'd take this colour over purple any day." You say sarcastically. You hoist your self up onto the table and so does Ben so you are now both sitting on the table watching the other students assemble their sabers. One by one they each activate their weapons and they are all green or blue. One of them was more white than blue but still and there was one or two yellows, but none of them came close to the colour of your saber.

"How is everything going?" Master Luke says as he walks into the room. All the students smile and nod to say that everything was well.

"Has everyone successfully completed their lightsabers?" He says walking from one side of the room to the other. In unison, everyone nods.

"Well let's see them then." Luke says in a very calm yet exciting voice. And one by one, each student activated their lightsabers. Luke walked to each student carefully examining their lightsaber before telling them to fix something or give them the nod of approval. He finally makes his way to Ben who activates his saber as instructed. Luke carefully examines it before nodding and smiling and saying,

"Good job, boy." Then he moved on to you. You were slightly nervous because your saber was a different colour that the rest of them. What if you built it wrong and that's why it's a weird colour? Your mind begins racing with questions but your thoughts are interrupted by Luke's voice.

"Well, let's see it." He says, beckoning for you to show him your lightsaber. You hesitantly pull the saber out from behind you and prepare for disappointment. You look to Ben who gives you a reassuring nod before you activate your lightsaber. Sure enough, the saber activates and the room is lit up with a navy-blue aura. You look at Luke who has a blank expression on his face aside from the surprise behind his eyes.

"This is interesting." He says, clearly curious as he carefully looks your weapon up and down.

"May I?" He says, asking to hold it. You oblige and press the handle of the saber into his palm. He takes the lightsaber and begins to swing it around him slowly in precise movements. His eyes are locked on the saber's unique colour as he completes all his flourishes.

"Well, Y/N, is it?" He asks, regarding your name. You nod meeting his eyes.

"You have a very interesting lightsaber indeed. Good luck with it." He says before winking, deactivating it and putting it back in your hand. He spins on his heels and turns to face his many apprentices.

"You have all done very well and I am proud of all of you as you have all shown great determination and patience." Luke smiles, looking from student to student.

"This loop, on the left side of your belt is where you shall keep your new weapons." He continues, pointing to a loop in his belt where his lightsaber rests. He removes and places it back in again to show his students.

"This is wear your lightsaber will stay. There are only two instances when your lightsaber shouldn't be on your belt. When you are changing from outfit to outfit and when you are sleeping. Even then, you should always have it close by, you never know when you will need it." He finishes and at the end of his sentence he pulls his lightsaber out and activates it, pointing it as the students in the far corner. One of them screams, but the rest just flinch. You jump in your seat but down make a sound. A low chuckle escapes Ben and you elbow him in the side.

Master Luke chuckles a little as he puts his saber back in its spot on his belt. He looks back at the faces of his startled students and smiles.

"Lunch will be served in half an hour. You will have an hour to eat and socialize before training starts again. Meet at the edge of the forest across from Ben and Y/N's huts. You are all dismissed." He finishes and disappears behind a wall like he always does.

Conversations burst from the room as the students slowly make their way out of the temple. By the look of the sun's height, it seems to be about mid day. Wow, you spent several hours just building your lightsaber. You look to Ben and beckon him to join you. He skips a step to catch up with you before diving into conversations as per usual.

"I wonder if Uncle Luke knows that your crystal was from the box from your room." He says as you make your way back to your hut.

"You know when Master Luke was handing out crystals? Well when he got to me, instead of giving me a crystal he only smiles, glanced down at my pocket as if he knew that's where the crystal from my room was and the continued on handing put crystals to the rest of the students." You confess, halfway to your hut.

"He seemed really fascinated by your saber. Do you think he's never seen one that colour before? Cause I haven't, hell I haven't even heard of a navy lightsaber." Ben says confused.

"I don't know, but I think that what ever else was in that box has something to do with it." You say opening the door to your hut, inviting Ben in. You take the box out from under your bed and put it on the table. You look up at Ben and see how confused he looks. You find the knob of wood and press it once more. Yet again, the box makes a sucking sound as it opens and you flip the lid open. You reach into the box and what pull out the piece of brown material. What the material turns out to be makes both you and Ben and gasp in surprise.


	6. The Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The contents of the mysterious box you found under your bed shock you so much so that you find your next class with Master Luke rather challenging.

You gasp and moments later hear Ben gasp as well as you pull out the piece of brown material. You put the box down on the table and unfold the fabric. You found yourself to be looking at a Jedi cloak. You brushed the dust off it and threw it around your shoulders. You fasten the clasp by your neck and put the hood on so it shadows the upper part of your face. You look at Ben who is speechless. You grab your lightsaber from your belt and ignite it. The saber vibrates in your hand as the it begins whirring with life. You had only held it once before and yet it felt so familiar in your grasp. You went to do a simple flourish and spin the saber around your hand but instead, you feel a rush of power from the handle as the saber almost takes over. It not only spun around your wrists but pulled your arm with it as it swung around you.Out of fear, you drop it and it deactivated as it hits the floor. You take the cloak off and lay it down on your bed.

"Whoa, what happened?" Ben says walking to your side.

"I don't know, I put the cloak on and went to try to you know, spin the light saber around my wrist like Uncle Luke does, but it felt like the saber almost took over. Like I wasn't in control anymore and I watched as the saber spun around my wrist and then it pulled my arm with it as it swung around me. I got scared and dropped it." You say, picking up your saber from the ground.

"Do you think the cloak had anything to do with it? I mean you found the kyber crystal and the cloak in the same box." He states, clearly just as fascinated as you are.

"I don't know," was all you could say. And you really did not know. You put the saber back in your belt loop and walk out of your hut. Ben followed you out quietly before saying.

"Oh shit, lunch is being served." He says before taking off in a light jog towards the temple. Clearly nothing could get in the way of Ben and his food.

"Wait up! I have short legs!" You yell up to him as you run to catch up.

"Oh really? Race you." He says once you caught up. You watch as his light jog turns into a full out sprint and realize there is no way you are going to catch up to him. You try anyways, and fail getting to the temple about a minute after he does.

"I win!" He smirks, gently nudging your elbow.

"I...demand...a rematch!" You say between breaths.

"I'll think about it." He teases as you both enter the temple. You see all students sitting down at a table with their heads down, enjoying their meal.

You and Ben take the only available seats left at the end of the table. You sit down and watch as all eyes turn to face you. Everyone stops eating and stares. You ignore them even though the whispers sting your ears.

"The weirdo with the navy lightsaber." You hear one girl say and you feel anger bubble up inside you. Ben must've noticed because he places a hand on your arm making your skin tingle.

"It's ok, ignore them." He says sweetly before removing his arm and grabbing a piece of bread from the table. You smile back at him as you grab your food.

The rest of the meal was silent, only whispers from the other students. The silence was deafening but part of you was happy that it was quiet. You were more afraid of what the students would say if they were talking. You wrap up your meal as does Ben and you walk towards the edge of the forest where you last saw Caspian and where Master Luke told you to meet him after lunch. Caspian. What happens if you go into the forest and see him? What happens if Master Luke hurts him? What happens if Caspian runs up to you and tackles you and Luke hurts him then?

"Shit!" You mutter under your breath, the questions running through your head were giving you a headache.

"What?" Ben says, somehow he heard you.

"Caspian? What happens if we run into him during our training?" You say, fear laced in your tone.

"Oh yeah. Don't worry Y/N, he'll be ok. He may be a sweetheart to us but he's a wild creature nonetheless." Ben reassures, calmly.

"True, let's just hope that we don't see him." You say as you reach the edge of the forest. You continue talking to Ben as the rest of the students arrive, full from lunch. After the last student arrives, the same one from this morning, Master Luke arrives just in time.

"Good afternoon, I hope you all enjoyed your meal," he says smiling. Everyone nods and returns the smile.

"Well you can thank the locals." He says pointing to a few creatures walking upright by the temple. Funny, you hadn't noticed them at all before.

"I hope you all brought your lightsabers with you." He says, scanning his students for their sabers. Thankfully everyone had theirs but you dreaded the day that someone forgot theirs and had to face a very angry Master Luke. You place a hand on your and remember what happened earlier today with the cloak and how your lightsaber took over. You shudder a little and take your hand off the hilt.

"Good, as your final lesson today I will teach you the basics of lightsaber combat. Only the basics for now." He adds and excitement radiates from his students, you included. To your relief, instead of walking into the forest, Master Luke turns and walks toward a large mountain in the distance. Wait had that always been there, you thought to yourself as you and Ben followed him. Then it occurred to you, when you landed on this planet, you only looked to your left and right and directly inform of you, you never thought to look behind you. You walk for about five minutes before one of the students calls out,

"Where are we going?" Master Luke stops, turns to face the child and points the the middle of the moutain. You hear a few quiet groans as you reload that you have to walk all the way to the mountain and then halfway up it. You on the other hand were excited and needed the long walk. Time to analyze the day and the previous events. And that is exactly what you did.

The walk to the location on the mountain was long and brutal with lots of intense climbing and dodging but you made it. So did Ben and the rest but they all had to sit down and rest exhausted from the long walk. You take a deep breath taking in your surroundings. You were now on almost a platform, like someone had cut into the mountain and flattened part of it out. You walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down. You weren't afraid of heights but the sight of tiny trees that used to tower of you now the size of ants made you little light-headed. You looked up form the base of the mountain and the view almost made you lose your balance. You could see the forest where Caspian was and the clearing that you found him in. You could see the lake and the Academy too. And beyond that was just forest, and trees and green. It was all so much, you had never seen anything so beautiful in your entire life.

You look back at Ben who was still catching his breath. You signal for him to come stand beside you and with a low groan he does. When he reaches the edge, he almost falls over and you reach out to steady him. He slowly stabilized himself and looks as if he was about to vomit.

"Heights aren't really my thing." He says holding onto your arm still.

"Don't look down, look out." You say, pointing to the beauty that was in front of you. You watch as his eyes go wide with amazement and you can't help but smile.

"Wow." Is all he could say, still holding onto your arm. You pull him back from the edge to join the group again. Once you are back with the group, he finally lets go of your arm and whispers,

"Thank you." And then Master Luke begins his second lesson of the day.

"Alright, lets get started..."


	7. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first official class with Master Luke, let's see how this goes...

"Alright, let's begin." Master Luke says and you can feel the excitement in the space increase.

"Spread out, make sure you are at least 6 feet from anybody around you." He orders and the students pan out across the platform. You and Ben go to the edge and make sure to stay at enough away from each other.

"Now take out your lightsabers, and ignite them...carefully." He adds for the sake of the one child who whips it out and takes no caution what so ever. You place your hand on the hilt of your saber feeling the energy coarse through you and into your weapon. You remove it from your belt and hold it out in front of you. You activate it and the saber whirs to life. Yet again, it feels so familiar in your hand even though you've only held it twice before. You decide not to try anything with it for fear that what happened in your hut would happen again. You look over at Ben who careful lights his saber and holds it out like you do. He gives you a reassuring smile before focusing on his lightsaber again.

"Good. Now today I'm going to teach you basic movements. I will demonstrate them and tell you what you must do to achieve the movement, but it is up to you to practise it. That goes with anything I teach you. Whenever you are not sleeping, eating or training with me, go and practise. You can train with a friend or by yourself, but you will not become a Jedi if you sit through my lessons and don't follow through. Are we clear?" He finishes, raising one eyebrow. Everyone nods, too anxious to dare arguing.

"Ok, now I cannot express how important it is that you be careful with your lightsabers. These will hurt you or anyone else and potentially kill someone. It is not my responsibility to make sure you don't kill anyone, I am here to teach and to guide, your choices are yours and yours alone." He says, changing from safety precautions to life advice awkwardly.

"Now that that is out of the way, let us begin." He concludes as he swiftly pulls out his lightsaber and ignited it all in one motion. Somehow he didn't but a hole in his cloak or injure himself. You stand there in awe watching as Luke goes through a series of basic movements.

Master Luke does a sequence of slow movements. Starting with his saber to straight out to the side standing shoulder width apart, he slowly brings the saber above his head, swings it once to create momentum and then brings it down in front of his across his shoulder. He then brings the saber up to his eye level where he holds it flat across his face, he brings his other hand up to steady it before slashing down in front of him again across his front and again the other way. Luke then steps back as he spins bringing the saber above his head with both hands. As he spins out of his twirl he brings the lightsaber down in front of him and lets go with his supporting hand and letting his guiding hand go out to the side with his saber in hand. He was now where he was at the beginning of the sequence. He repeats the sequence over and over again, getting faster every time he does it until he is going so fast it looks like it's all one motion, like a sort of dance.

Once he finishes the sequence at normal speed, which just happens to be light speed, he scans through his students looking deep into their eyes. He notices the looks of confusion and awe and he begins again, really slow. Showing every movement, every twist and turn. Some students try and do it with him, mirroring him. They all struggle, even with him going slow. Good luck doing it at normal speed, you think to yourself, quietly laughing. But then you realize that they are doing better than you are, or at least they are trying to learn. Instead of learning or practising you are just standing there, lightsaber hanging by your side, in awe of Master Luke.

Luke finishes the sequence at the slow speed and does it again at normal speed. But this time, it doesn't look fast to you. It almost looks like he's in slow motion, you look closely and see every movement and turn that you were struggling to see before. Suddenly it seems to click and instead of fear and anxiety you feel confident. You tighten your grasp on the hilt of your lightsaber and bring it up to your side, holding it out firmly. Just as you were about to try the sequence, Master Luke speaks.

"That is the first sequence of movements that I will be teaching you. I expect that you have all got the basic idea and you should all start practising. I will come around one by one and make sure you are on the right track." He says, deactivating his lightsaber and putting it back on his belt. Suddenly your knees begin to feel weak and your breath catches slightly. The thought of Master Luke standing beside you, watching and studying you and only you with your lightsaber that just earlier today almost killed you just made you feel terribly anxious. You look to Ben once again looking for some reassurance or anything to ease the anxiety that was eating away at your insides. He looks back at you and as if realizing your struggle rushes over to you. He deactivated his lightsaber on his way over. He puts his hand on your back to steady you, clearly worried you might faint.

"Are you ok?" He asks with concern on his face.

"Yeah it just, what if I mess up in front of Master Luke, then the other kids will see me. They already think that I'm weird because of my lightsaber." You say holding onto your lightsaber even tighter. Ben gives you another reassuring smile before he says,

"Don't worry. If you are really that worried about messing up, I'll mess up with you." He says kindly. You realize that no matter the situation, Ben will always be able to calm you down with that smile. That smile that says it's going to be ok, even though it might not be.

"Thanks." You say, taking a step forward and watching as he walks back to his place to start practising.

You watch as Ben goes through the movements, almost as if he already knew them. Hell, he probably already did. But he moved with such grace, so smoothly that he didn't even look like he was trying. He was still doing it slowly, nowhere near Master Lukes final speed but still fast compared to the rest of the students. You looked over at Luke who was showing the sequence to a struggling student and then back at Ben and saw the similarities in their movements. The way they spun in the final movement and the way they held their head, it was almost identical.

You shake yourself from your trance and prepare to practise as Master Luke walks over to Ben, carefully watching him. You feel your heart quicken as you tighten your grip around the hilt of your navy weapon and begin the first movement.


	8. Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn your first lightsaber sequence, how good are you?

You tighten your grip around your lightsaber and stick out to your side, mirroring Luke when he started the movement. You brought the lighsaber about your head slowly as you swung it and brought it down across your front. A strange force pulls down on with you as you strike. Scared that you will lose control and resist the pull. With each movement the sabre seems to whirr louder, becomes more alive, and with every move the pull becomes stronger. You continue to resist it, feeling your arms tire from the strain. You bring the lightsaber up to your eye level and focus on the navy glow. You close your eyes and swing the sabre down across your front again in one direction and then again it the other. The sabre now pulses in you hands and you feel it start to sync with your heart beat. As you take a step back to spin for the finally movement, you bring your saber above your head and you can't resist anymore. You stop resisting and to your surprise, instead of taking over entirely your sabre guides you. Instead of controlling your movements, your lightsaber leads you. And as opposed to thinking through this last movement part by part, with the guidance of your sabre you finish it in one motion. You spin on your heels as you twirl the sabre above your head before you bring it down in one stroke. Halfway through the stroke you release with your supporting hand so the sabre goes back to your side, ready to begin the sequence again.

You are schocked by your own actions. How did I do that, you think to yourself glancing down at your lightsaber, pulsing harder than ever. You look to Ben and see that Luke is just finishing up giving Ben advice. That means that you only have a few more minutes to practise before Luke comes over to you. You swallow hard and feel your heart beat quicken, making the pulsing of your lightsaber speed up too.

You get into your stance, preparing to start the sequence again. You decide you will not resist the pull of your lightsaber and trust it. You begin slow as you bring the weapon above your head and stroke down but as you continue through the sequence, you feel yourself get faster. You are still in complete control but the pull is making the movements faster, giving you less time to doubt yourself. You feel the anxiety rise again but you push it back down, and trust your lightsaber. You finish the sequence perfectly as Master Luke walks over to you.

"Have you figured out the sequence?" He says looking at your stance, then realizing that you already have.

"Well, show me what you've got." He says and stands back. You feel Ben's eyes on you as you return to your starting stance. As you close your eyes, focusing on the pulse of your sabre and the whirr of it's existence, you also feel the eyes of every student on you. You take a deep breath before opening your eyes again.

You go through the sequence with little to no flaws. Letting your sabre guide you, you deliver a perfect strike every time. As you finish the end of your sequence you realize how fast you were going. It felt as though you were going the speed Luke taught you to aim for but what it really was you didn't know. You bring your lightsaber down in front of you as the final stroke, realest your supporting hand and letting your sabre fall to your side. You look up, breathing hard with rosy cheeks at a shocked audience. All the students had shock and awe written on their faces and you smirked a little at the thought of the people who teased you now stood in awe of you. You looked to Ben whose jaw was almost on the floor and his eyes wide. He meets your eyes and smiles, but it isn't his reassuring smile, it's like he's almost scared. Puzzled, you look to Master Luke who looks proud. Slightly shocked, but proud.

"Well done." He says, breaking the silence glaring at the students behind him and they all hurry back to look busy.

"So when have you been practising?" He says, clearly thinking you've done this before.

"This is my first time, Master. I only ever held a lightsaber for the first time this morning." You answer, confused.

"Please Y/N, this is not the time for jokes. You must tell me, it's crucial to your training." He says, seriously looking sternly into your eyes.

"I'm being honest Master, I swear. Ask Ben." You say, pointing to Ben who was pulled from his trance by his name. Luke looks to Ben who just nods supportively.

"But how then. Out of all my years of being a Jedi, I've never seen anyone complete that sequence with that speed on their first try." He says, clearly puzzled and trying hard to analyze the situation.

"I don't know. Although, when I was younger I did have this wooden sword that I used to play with my brother. That's the only other time I've every held or used a weapon." You say, thinking back to your past. You thought of your brother and you imideatly shiver.

"This is interesting. Are you aware of what you just did?" Master Luke says, seeing your discomfort regarding your last and changing the subject. You shake your head, scared to see what will happen next.

"Well let me show you." He says signalling for your so back up. Master Luke begins the sequence normally at a relatively normal speed, not the really fast speed but faster than the other students. Then, halfway through the second motion he twirls the lightsaber around his wrist and finishes the entire sequence so fast you barely saw him move. Confused and scared, you look down at your lightsaber which was still on and whirring with life. The pulsing becomes quicker meaning your heartbeat did too. No wonder everyone was scared of you, hell even your best friend was a scared for a second. Or maybe he still is scared of you.

"You see, that amount of movement with that amount of speed is very challenging especially for a new padawan. But with al that and the precision that you had, that is unheard of." Luke starts, taking a step towards you.

"I understand, Master. I'll be sure to be more careful next time and slow down." You say bowing your head in regret. You shouldn't've trusted your lightsaber in the first place. Master Luke puts a hand on your shoulder causing you to look up at him.

"No, no, no. You misunderstood me Y/N. I am just surprised and most importantly intrigued. You have a lot of potential that I would like to see put to use and as your master it is my job to make sure that you are on the right path to achieving your full potential. But in order to do that I feel I must learn more about your past. I think we need to talk." He says in a kind voice. You nod, deactivating your lightsaber and put it back on your belt.

"Training for the day is over. Go back to the Academy and use this time to practise the sequence that I just taught you. Dinner with be served in a few hours." He says leading you back down the mountain.

You hear several lightsabers deactivate, a few sighs, a groan and someone call out your name. You look back and see Ben who just moments ago called your name and reached out to you. You look back at him, and smile. You try to recreate his reassuring smile to tell him it will be ok. It works because you see him smile back before you are forced to look back in front of you and the long evening that awaits.


	9. Negotiating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Luke pulls you aside after class, why? You don't know...

You tighten your grip around your lightsaber and stick out to your side, mirroring Luke when he started the movement. You brought the lighsaber about your head slowly as you swung it and brought it down across your front. A strange force pulls down on with you as you strike. Scared that you will lose control and resist the pull. With each movement the sabre seems to whirr louder, becomes more alive, and with every move the pull becomes stronger. You continue to resist it, feeling your arms tire from the strain. You bring the lightsaber up to your eye level and focus on the navy glow. You close your eyes and swing the sabre down across your front again in one direction and then again it the other. The sabre now pulses in you hands and you feel it start to sync with your heart beat. As you take a step back to spin for the finally movement, you bring your saber above your head and you can't resist anymore. You stop resisting and to your surprise, instead of taking over entirely your sabre guides you. Instead of controlling your movements, your lightsaber leads you. And as opposed to thinking through this last movement part by part, with the guidance of your sabre you finish it in one motion. You spin on your heels as you twirl the sabre above your head before you bring it down in one stroke. Halfway through the stroke you release with your supporting hand so the sabre goes back to your side, ready to begin the sequence again.

You are schocked by your own actions. How did I do that, you think to yourself glancing down at your lightsaber, pulsing harder than ever. You look to Ben and see that Luke is just finishing up giving Ben advice. That means that you only have a few more minutes to practise before Luke comes over to you. You swallow hard and feel your heart beat quicken, making the pulsing of your lightsaber speed up too.

You get into your stance, preparing to start the sequence again. You decide you will not resist the pull of your lightsaber and trust it. You begin slow as you bring the weapon above your head and stroke down but as you continue through the sequence, you feel yourself get faster. You are still in complete control but the pull is making the movements faster, giving you less time to doubt yourself. You feel the anxiety rise again but you push it back down, and trust your lightsaber. You finish the sequence perfectly as Master Luke walks over to you.

"Have you figured out the sequence?" He says looking at your stance, then realizing that you already have.

"Well, show me what you've got." He says and stands back. You feel Ben's eyes on you as you return to your starting stance. As you close your eyes, focusing on the pulse of your sabre and the whirr of it's existence, you also feel the eyes of every student on you. You take a deep breath before opening your eyes again.

You go through the sequence with little to no flaws. Letting your sabre guide you, you deliver a perfect strike every time. As you finish the end of your sequence you realize how fast you were going. It felt as though you were going the speed Luke taught you to aim for but what it really was you didn't know. You bring your lightsaber down in front of you as the final stroke, realest your supporting hand and letting your sabre fall to your side. You look up, breathing hard with rosy cheeks at a shocked audience. All the students had shock and awe written on their faces and you smirked a little at the thought of the people who teased you now stood in awe of you. You looked to Ben whose jaw was almost on the floor and his eyes wide. He meets your eyes and smiles, but it isn't his reassuring smile, it's like he's almost scared. Puzzled, you look to Master Luke who looks proud. Slightly shocked, but proud.

"Well done." He says, breaking the silence glaring at the students behind him and they all hurry back to look busy.

"So when have you been practising?" He says, clearly thinking you've done this before.

"This is my first time, Master. I only ever held a lightsaber for the first time this morning." You answer, confused.

"Please Y/N, this is not the time for jokes. You must tell me, it's crucial to your training." He says, seriously looking sternly into your eyes.

"I'm being honest Master, I swear. Ask Ben." You say, pointing to Ben who was pulled from his trance by his name. Luke looks to Ben who just nods supportively.

"But how then. Out of all my years of being a Jedi, I've never seen anyone complete that sequence with that speed on their first try." He says, clearly puzzled and trying hard to analyze the situation.

"I don't know. Although, when I was younger I did have this wooden sword that I used to play with my brother. That's the only other time I've every held or used a weapon." You say, thinking back to your past. You thought of your brother and you imideatly shiver.

"This is interesting. Are you aware of what you just did?" Master Luke says, seeing your discomfort regarding your last and changing the subject. You shake your head, scared to see what will happen next.

"Well let me show you." He says signalling for your so back up. Master Luke begins the sequence normally at a relatively normal speed, not the really fast speed but faster than the other students. Then, halfway through the second motion he twirls the lightsaber around his wrist and finishes the entire sequence so fast you barely saw him move. Confused and scared, you look down at your lightsaber which was still on and whirring with life. The pulsing becomes quicker meaning your heartbeat did too. No wonder everyone was scared of you, hell even your best friend was a scared for a second. Or maybe he still is scared of you.

"You see, that amount of movement with that amount of speed is very challenging especially for a new padawan. But with al that and the precision that you had, that is unheard of." Luke starts, taking a step towards you.

"I understand, Master. I'll be sure to be more careful next time and slow down." You say bowing your head in regret. You shouldn't've trusted your lightsaber in the first place. Master Luke puts a hand on your shoulder causing you to look up at him.

"No, no, no. You misunderstood me Y/N. I am just surprised and most importantly intrigued. You have a lot of potential that I would like to see put to use and as your master it is my job to make sure that you are on the right path to achieving your full potential. But in order to do that I feel I must learn more about your past. I think we need to talk." He says in a kind voice. You nod, deactivating your lightsaber and put it back on your belt.

"Training for the day is over. Go back to the Academy and use this time to practise the sequence that I just taught you. Dinner with be served in a few hours." He says leading you back down the mountain.

You hear several lightsabers deactivate, a few sighs, a groan and someone call out your name. You look back and see Ben who just moments ago called your name and reached out to you. You look back at him, and smile. You try to recreate his reassuring smile to tell him it will be ok. It works because you see him smile back before you are forced to look back in front of you and the long evening that awaits.


	10. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You reveal all of your past to Master Luke. The good and the bad, will he care?

"And then you came to my house, if one could even call it that, and offered me a place in your Academy. More importantly a place away from my family. So, knowing my family, how could I refuse and that's why I was so eager to leave. To get away from them, from everything. You can't blame me for leaving, you know what they were like." You finish, breathing hard. After telling Luke about your last, every last detail, you were exhausted. You shouldn't be though, all you did was talk. You told Luke everything you could remember from your first memory to the look of your father's face when you told him you were leaving, forever. You felt like you had been talking for hours, going over every little thing.

With every memory, every word you said caused you more pain. The memories you tried so hard to destroy and forget came back to you like a slap in the face. Every now and then, especially on the subject of your brother you would feel tears begin to surface in your eyes. Before they could fall, you would wipe your eyes, making sure Luke didn't know how much this hurt you.

"Well Y/N, of course I don't blame you. To be honest I probably would have left too if I was in your situation." Luke finally says after several minutes of silence. You wondered what this would do to your training. He said it was important to your training so he could teach you better but what if he treats you different? What if he is softer on you because he knows no body in your life has ever been soft to you? You shake the questions from your mind and trust that Luke will not be influenced by your past.

"So now you know. I still don't see how this helps my training." You scoff, becoming slightly impatient.

"Does Ben know?" He asks, changing the subject.

"We'll sort of, I told him the story that I told you the first time. The one leaving out the fact that my mother was a prostitute." You say, putting emphasis on the last word. She disgusted you and her alone made you want to vomit. But the thought that actually made you vomit was that you were related to her.

"You should tell him. Quickly too, his reaction will be worse the longer you wait. You've got a good thing with him, you support him and him you. I think you are both very crucial to each other's training and success. So I suggest that you tell him quickly before it's too late." He says quietly. What did he mean by crucial to each other's success? What if you don't tell him, what if he finds out that you didn't tell him? What if you lose your only friend?

"Yes Master, but I'm still slightly confused. How does my last affect my training?" You say, curious about his plans for you now that he knows your past.

"You don't understand, this is exactly what I needed to hear. But one question remains, why are you so good with a lightsaber? It is unheard of. A lightsaber if that colour could mean...surely it doesn't." Luke trails off drop in thought. What could it mean? If the all mighty Luke Skywalker is puzzled by you then you're screwed, you thought.

"Mean what, Master?" You say, with more impatience in your voice than you intended but there's nothing you could do.

"Never mind. It's not important. The important thing is that we explore your gift. I expect you to practise in your spare time and perfect that sequence from earlier today." He says sternly, taking you off guard.

"Y-yes Master." You stutter, scared for what will happen next.

"I hope you don't expect any different treatment from me because of this." He adds, the kindness in his voice gone.

"Yes Master, I wouldn't want any other treatment." You say, the words falling out of your mouth. You stand there in silence as Luke meets your eyes.

"Well, what are you waiting for? This is spare time, why aren't you training? I expect nothing but the best from you, Y/N!" He raises his voice slightly as his sentence ends and you stumble out of the room and run out to the forest.

You run for what felt like ages until you find the clearing where you found Caspian. You sit down on a rock and pull your knees up to your chest. You think back on today and everything that happened. You thought of how your day started so well and slowly decreased to a painful end. You thought of your past and most importantly your father. What was he doing right now? Hell, he was probably working while your mother was off fucking some creature. And your brother Baze, just the thought of him made anger begin to bubble inside you.

You think back to the first time you felt jealou of him. You were only five or six and he was maybe a year. He had taken one of the torches of the walls and was playing with it, you were curious and wanted to play with it too. Instead of handing it to you, he threw it at you and the burning end went into your arm. You cried out in pain and your soon your step-brother states crying too. Then your mother walked in at the sound of your brother crying, not you who had been crying for longer. She looked at you and the to him. She picked him up and started talking to him in a clam and soothing voice, one you and never heard before. She had never talked to you, only ever yelled at you. She hugged him until he stopped crying and then put him down in the other room. She then stormed in and started screaming at you, not yelling. You try to explain what happened but she just kept screaming. Angry that she wouldn't listen to you you scream at her that it was Baze's fault but that only made it worse. She picked up the torch and drove it into your arm, the same spot that it had hit before. She left shortly after with you crying on the floor. Your dad was out working so you just stayed on the floor and cried until the next morning.

You shook yourself from the memory, feeling tears around your eyes. You run your finger over the scar of your upper arm from the torch. It was in a perfect circle and had never completely healed. And it was all because of her. Because she wouldn't love or care for you. She gave Baze almost anything he wanted but you, she just abused because she knew no one would stop her. She loved him. And you were always jealous of him. Not once did she speak to you or calm you down, she was always yelling or shouting because there was always something you did wrong. You hated her so much and there was nothing you wanted to do more than to kill her yourself.

You felt a cool wetness on your cheek and you realize you are crying and wrap your arms around your knees even tighter. You sobbed so hard your throat hurt. You cried until you couldn't anymore. Now you could no longer be sad, you could no longer let her control you. You grabbed you lightsaber form you belt and heard the familiar whirr of it igniting. You tailed in in your fingers and felt a smirk creep across your face. Oh she's gonna regret being such a bitch to me, you thought to your self as you hopped down from the rock.

You walk through forest calmly, twirling your lightsaber around you every so often until you find this area where it's just rock. Solid, cold rock. The perfect place to release your anger. You yell aloud as you charge at the stone wall swinging your lightsaber in front of you. Again, the saber tries to guide you and you don't hesitate to let it. You cry out again, this time slicing though a whole rock with your lightsaber. It leaves the edges hot and burning. You feel the anger radiate of of you and channel it into one last outburst. You charge at a tree, yelling but just as you reach the tree you hear a whisper.

The whisper is quiet, calm but menacing at the same time. It was different from the whispers of the box. It was deeper; darker. Rage laced in its tone, so much anger. You couldn't quite tell what they were saying but you didn't care enough to find out. It got slightly louder as you got angrier to the point where it sounded like it was right behind you. Out of fear and instinct, you spin around, crying out once more and bring the lightsaber down. You are met with nothing, just the forest and the quiet whirring of your active lightsaber. You take a deep sigh as you fall to your knees once again.

What happened?


	11. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go into the forest on your own to practise what you learned today, but things get a little out of hand.

"What the hell just happened?" You mutter under your breath. Where was that whispering coming from and why did it sound so dark? Why did it stop and why did you hear it? There were so many questions in your head that you started to get a head ache. Your head began to throb the more questions popped into your head.

Anger still coursing through you from your past was just enough to push you over the edge, again. You let out a yell as an attempt to silence the thoughts, only to find that the questions became louder. Out of anguish you stomp through the forest, slicing trees and bushes as you went. You could feel the anger radiating off of you, feeling like there was a red glow around you from it. You were sure that you hard burnt up the forest around you.

With every strike, every sound of your lightsaber clashing with wood or stone you felt more powerful. You felt like besides anger there was something else in you, deep inside and locked away. Something else, another force. It was alive and awake whatever it was. And it wanted out.

You felt your fingers tingle slightly as you twirled your saber in your hand again. As it twirled gracefully in your hand, it began to pulse again, as if the thing that awakened inside you strengthened it. Out of pure curiosity, you tried the sequence that Luke had taught you earlier that day. You thought that what you did earlier today was good? Boy were you wrong. This was a whole different thing.

Instead of going so fast you had no time to process what you were doing, it was like it was in slow motion. You knew you weren't going slow, you knew you were going even faster than before but you had time to perfect everything. To perfect the angle of your saber, the pivot of your foot. It was all so foreign to you but felt so familiar. It was a strange feeling.

You go through the sequence a few times, getter better each time until you heard a branch snap behind you. You look around you and then above you, the sun was setting and the sky had turned a reddish pink colour. Had you really been out for that long? Ben must be worried about you, you didn't even think to tell him what happened before you went out on your rampage. You turn around and see the trail you left behind of burnt bushes and severed trees. Then you hear another branch snap and you look at a bush that was rustling. You, thinking it was Caspian, run over to the bush and stand in front of it.

"Caspian?" You say quietly, waiting for him to show himself. But nothing happens, the bush stops moving suddenly and you see the sky change right in front of your eyes. It went from pink to a dark purple in a matter of seconds. Like some kind of darkness has taken over.

That's when you heard it.

The whispering.

It was coming from your left, quieter than before. You walk towards it and the sound changes. It become louder but more distorted. Then it moves from your left to behind you but it sounds like it a little ways away. You run towards the sound, letting curiosity control your legs as you break into a sprint. The whisper changes again. It becomes slightly higher pitched and even more distorted than before. You chase the sound as it moves through the forest, like it's running along with you.

Then it stops and the only sound is the constant whirr of your navy blue saber. Then it changes, the whisper starts again, this time from a specific point. You listen for a minute to get a feel for exactly where the whispering is coming from. Then you run toward it, your feet carrying you faster than you thought they could. The whisper slowly gets louder and more...familiar?

Through all the distortion you find out that it is a male voice speaking quietly, almost like a plead. The voice is a voice you know very well, someone who you knew was important to you. But you couldn't quite figure out who it was. You ran faster as you began to make out sounds that sounded like words. Your legs were getting sore from all the running, you had never been athletic and your lungs became tired. But you pushed on desperate to know who was behind this voice.

You run until you reach the cave where your outburst began. Just as you stopped running you could make out two words from his deep, distorted voice...

Save me.

As you slid to a halt, so did the whispering and it was silent once more. Angry that you had lost the voice once more, you slashed your lightsaber in front of you. Just as you were about to turn around and start destroying things again, a familiar voice stopped you.

"Y/N, is that you?" You turn around and see Ben standing there, in his sleeping clothes. His wavy, black hair a mess. You deactivate your lightsaber and put it back in your belt.

"Ben? What are you doing out here?" You say, taking a step toward him.

"I could ask you the same thing. Did you do all this?" He says gesturing to the slashes in the rock and broken trees.

"Uh yeah. I was out here practising the sequence that Luke taught us today. I guess I just got little carried away? How did you find me and why are you out here?" You say, curious to know why Ben was out this late. It was late now, the sky was black and the two moons above you were shining bright.

"Well I came out here to find Caspian, I figured you were still with Luke so I'd just go and see him. I mean we did promise him that we'd be out today. On my way I found a tree that had been sliced in half and was burning at the edges. I then followed the trail of burnt bushes and slashed trees until I found you." He finishes, walking towards you.

"Oh, I see. Did you eat anything?" You asked changing the subject as you both walked out of the cave side by side.

"Yeah, it was really awkward though. Without you to talk to, it felt like the meal went on forever. It was torture." He says, tripping over his own feet. You look down at the ground and see him attempting to shorten his stride for you. You are touched by that but also slightly offended because you are only a few inches shorter than him.

"Awww, can little Ben not stand to be without me?" You tease in a dramatic voice. He scowls at you before nudging you in the side. You begin laughing and soon he does too. You laugh together for a while before you begin telling him about the meeting with Luke. You leave out the part about your mother being a prostitute but tell him everything else as it happened.

He doesn't seem that shocked when you tell him about how quickly Luke's mood changed. He just shrugs and tells you that he's always been a little moody, it's a Jedi thing.

You continue to joke around as you two make your way to the clearing to find Caspian and spend some time with him like you promised.


	12. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later, everything seems to be going perfectly at the Academy until one night a strange voice wakes you from you sleep...

~Two Years Later~

"Y/N."

"Y/N."

"Join me"

"Darkness."

"Anger."

"Strength."

"Power."

"Join me."

"Y/N."

"Y/N."

You gasp, sitting up straight in your cot. You put a hand to your chest to slow your breathing as you try and calm down. While your heart may be racing, your mind was running double. Eventually, your heart beat and breathing slowed and you were back to normal, though your mind was still racing. You squeeze your eyes shut as your try and recall the strange dream. But it didn't feel like a dream. It felt real. Like there really was something whispering and spitting those words in your ear. It couldn't have been a dream. It felt different. The words the creature spat swirl in your head and repeat continuously until you have a headache. Darkness? Anger? Strength? Join me? Join who? Did you even hear any of that or are you just imagining things? Maybe all of this was just your head playing tricks on you.

You come to the conclusion that this was all a figment of your imagination and you go back to sleep. As you lie back down again, you feel your eyes automatically shut from exhaustion. Sleep is just beyond your reach when your breath hitches and you eyes fly open.

"Y/N." The voice calls.

"H-hello?" You answer, suspicious.

"Join me." The voice continues and you become confused.

"What? Ok, Ben if this is one of your sick tricks, cut it out I'm trying to sleep." You say sternly, realizing that this must be Ben.

"Ben will join me, you will too." The voice whispers, almost snake-like.

"Who are you, and what do you mean Ben will join you?" You question, now realizing that this voice is definitely not Ben.

"I am the one who will teach you the true ways of the force. Not this Jedi garbage that Luke Skywalker has been teaching you." The voice, louder now, put emphasis on your masters name spitting every syllable. You could swear that you felt saliva spray across your neck from the voice's venomous tone.

"What do you mean..." You trail off, you hands beginning to shake.

"Join me and I will teach you things you can't imagine. You are very strong with the force and are in desperate need of a teacher. I can help you." You can determine now that it is a he speaking to you through some unknown power. He lingers on the last words making sure that you hear everything he says.

"What would you teach me? Could you teach me to do what you are doing right now? To talk to someone without actually being there? To use the force to communicate?" You say curiously, ignoring your conscience which is screaming at you to run.

"My young apprentice, there is much more to the force than communicating. I shall give you a bit of guidance right now, just to show you what I could teach you." He offers, and you just quietly nod needing to know what he will teach you because let's face it; Master Luke is getting old. His lessons become more and more boring and you find that most of the moves and sequences you learn are either taught to you by your lightsaber or you figure them out by yourself. You have never doubted Luke's abilities as a Jedi or as a teacher but you have grown bored of his methods.

"Very well. I have been watching you for quite some time now. Do you remember your second night here, when you stormed off into the forest after Luke Skywalker practically abandoned you." He pauses and waits for you to nod. You begin to recall the night where Luke had basically stopped teaching you individually, and on the second night too. How you went and destroyed the forest after and how the only thing that saved you from your own rage was Ben.

"Do you remember the anger you felt that night? The feeling of pure rage coursing through you and your lightsaber. Do you recall the connection you felt then, the balance between you and your saber. Must I remind you of the feeling of relief when you stopped fighting, when you stopped caring. For everything, except one. Anger is fuel. Use it. Hate will guide you. Let it. And rage is the most powerful of all. Rage will make you stronger." He finishes his lengthy speech of instruction and you feel your hand reach for your lightsaber as a reflex.

"In your next training session, use my advice and see how much better you are. See the look on Luke Skywalker' stage as he watches you outdo him in his own custom sequence. That is only a glimpse of what I can really show you. Join me, and I will teach you." There is a quiet woosh sound as his sentence ends and it is silent once more. You are left to your thoughts as you begin to connect the dots. The voice from the dream and the voice that you just spoke to, are the same being. You sit back down on your bed realizing you had just been standing there in your sleeping clothes the whole time. You run a hand through you messy hair and your fingers get caught in knots. Frustrated, you tie it up out of your face and throw your head in your hands.

What just happened?

While revising the nights previous incidents, you close your eyes trying to get every little detail that happened. During your revisions you come across your second night on this planet. He said that you stopped caring. What did me mean by that? Stopped caring for who? About who? He added except one. Who did he mean? Now that you think of it, you really did stop caring. You stopped caring about your mother and father and step-brother along with all your other step-siblings that you have never met. You stopped caring about what people thought of you and how they saw you. Except one. That was the night you started caring for someone. You started caring for their health and state and emotions. You started caring for them and everything they did. That was the night you started caring for Ben Solo.

What about Ben? Had he been asleep this whole time? Had he heard the voice too or was it just you? Questions about the one person you cared for began circling your brain and you are too weak to suppress them. Also being too tired to answer every one of them you decide to do it the easy way and just see him. See that wonderful face that made everything ok. You grab your saber and dash out of your hut.

You quickly but quietly run over to Ben's hut and push the door. The door was already slightly open so the door just gave way and the shining moonlight lit up the room.

And there on his cot was a tired, exhausted, hurt and confused Ben, sitting in a similar manner to how you were after the voice spoke to you. His dark waves cascaded around his face, framing it perfectly even though it stuck out all over the place. The bags under his eyes were hard to see, the glint of the moonlight making then almost invisible but after two and half years of knowing him, you could read him and see right through his facades. The wrinkles for smiling and laughing that normally lined his eyes were gone leaving a bare and lonely looking teenager.

His gaze shifts and he looks at your shadow being cast on his hut floor by the two moons' light. He stiffens and flexes his jaw before meeting your eyes.

Pain

Fear

Need

Sorrow

Love

Doubt

The emotions dance behind his eyes and you read him like you read the Jedi texts. Without the slightest bit of hesitation walk into his arms and melt into his warmth. Clearly confused but glad you saw through his mask, he wraps his arms around your strengthened torso and pulls you up onto the bed so you are sitting side by side in a tight embrace.

You can't remember how long you stayed like that, wrapped up in each other's bodies' with faces buried into each others shoulders. But it didn't matter because the voice was right; Ben Solo was the only thing you cared about.


	13. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has been acting weird and oddly disappears one morning before classes. Where could he have gone and what was all that nonsense from last night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol enjoy this babez, sorry it's been a fat minute and a half :}

The next morning you woke up with a ringing in your ears. The sun light creeping through the window burning your eyes as you try to pry them open. Your head throbbed with every movement but regardless, you sit up. As your eyes adjusted to the light, you began to recognize your surroundings. You were in your hut but something felt off, something was wrong. You go to stand up and investigate but your ears begin ringing again and you fall back into the cot. Exhausted, you roll over onto your stomach and bury your face in the pillow as you let out a deep sigh.

There was no training or lessons scheduled for today so you had no problem falling back asleep. You felt consciousness slip away and you were almost asleep when a strange smell comes from your pillow. You open your eyes again and smell the pillow. This definitely isn't your pillow but it's still a familiar smell, you try to put the pieces together in your head until it clicks. You weren't in your cot at all. Not even in your hut. You were in Ben's hut. You must have fallen asleep after last night.

All the memories from last night came rushing back that you hadn't thought about until then. You feel yourself shiver at the thought of the voice, the Darkness. What are you going to do about it? Who should you tell? Did Ben or anyone else hear the voice? Should Master Luke know? What if they just laugh at you and think you're crazy? Wait, calm down. You think to yourself taking a deep breath. The questions continued to swirl through your brain but you had a bigger problem then the questions. Where was Ben? He couldn't be far, it's not yet time for breakfast so he couldn't be there.

You take one last sniff of the pillow, enjoying the familiar scent of your best and only friend before getting up and walking to the table where there was a note.

We need to talk.  
-Ben

Wow, could you be any more vague? You think to yourself as you walk out of his hut and into your own. You quickly change into your dark training clothes and attach your lightsaber to your belt. You reach up and release your (hair length) (hair colour) hair down from the loose bun it was in (if it was possible) and feel the relaxation of your free hair. Satisfied with your appearance for the day you walk out of your hut determined to find Ben and talk to him about the Darkness and what ever he wants to talk about.

You head towards the temple and start your search for your beloved friend. You arrive at the temple and find the halls quiet and the rooms empty. Not even the common sound of your classmates echoed through the corridors. Regardless of the lack of sound, you continue to thoroughly search every room, determined to find Ben. You check the kitchen, the dining room, the library, all empty. You sigh heavily as you exit the temple thing hard about the other places he could be.

You decide to check his hut again just to be sure. When you arrive, you were greeted by the silence of the wind and the darkened room. You look around, hoping to find anything that might indicate that Ben had been here recently. But to your disappointment, you found nothing. You slump down onto his cot and and let your shoulders drop. Where could he be? Why would he leave a note but go where you cannot find him? Why couldn't he just have been there when you woke up and you could've discussed it like normal people. But that's the thing, you weren't normal people. Separately yes, but together you and Ben were the opposite of normal, even for the Jedi. Your quick learning and amazing abilities continued to shine and soon Ben became just as amazing as you. You smile thinking of the memories of just you and him, trying for hours on end. Suddenly, you realize where he is. 

You head towards the forest quickly, letting your feet carry you. Once you are in the forest, it becomes quiet. The sound of the lake is gone along with the familiar sound of the creatures that normally ran through the forest. The wind stopped blowing ending the last noise within earshot. It was like all the sounds of life had been sucked out. You walked slowly, listening for any sound that could tell you where Ben might be. Then it came to you.

You turn towards the clearing where you first found Caspian as your last hope to finding him. If he wasn't here then you were out of ideas. He had to be here. You jump up onto the large flat rock in the middle, searching through the trees for him. You squint your eyes into a thin line as your eyes scan the clearing for any sign of him. Out of the corner of your eye you see a dark figure shift amongst the trees and disappear into the shadow of the trees. You blink once and the dark figure has vanished. Certain that it is indeed Ben, you run off into the direction of the figure. 

You continue in that same direction based on pure instinct until you realize that you no longer know where you are. You spin in a circle trying to get your bearings and before you can confuse yourself anymore, the shadowy figure appears once more for a second, then darts away in a different direction. You continue in that direction until you lose sight of the damn thing and realize that you are completely lost. Before you were slightly confused but now you were absolutely lost. 

As you catch your breath, a realization dawns on you and you realize that perhaps in your desperate search for Ben, your mind may just be seeing things and playing tricks on you. Just as you were about to call it a day, the figure appears again, closer than before but still far enough that one would naturally want to follow it. This time, you are certain that it is real and that it is not simply a figment of your imagination. Instead of slowly jogging behind the thing like before, you sprint full speed at the thing, determined to prove to yourself that you are not going crazy. But the figure still manages to run and you follow in pursuit of it until once again, you've lost it.

The cycle continues for what felt like days. You would follow the shadowy figure until you cannot see it anymore, debate going back and then at the last minute the figure would show itself again and the cycle would repeat itself. After a while it felt like you were going in circles because the whole time after you left clearing, all you saw where trees and grass and forest. Your eyes were beginning to grow tired of the constant green brown. After around 27 stops and start again, you loose the ghostly thing again and look up to the sky for no particular reason. Maybe for answers, maybe for a sign or maybe for Ben himself, you have no idea. But when you see the pinky purple colour of the sky and realize that you have been running around looking for Ben all day. 

"That's it." You exclaim, out of both exhaustion and frustration.

"I'm not chasing you around anymore. I'm tired and mentally exhausted. I'm going back. Goodnight" You answer to no-one in particular, knowing very well that nobody is there and you are quite alone.

You start what you believe to be your journey home and are prepared for the long hours ahead of you of green and forest. But when you get a glimpse of the world, not the forest that you had come accustomed to, you rush to the opening a huge smile creeping its way across your lips. When you break through the trees you find the exact opposite of what you expected. You find yourself on the huge cliff-like rock where Master Luke teaches all his lessons and does all our combat training. You walk to the edge of the rock, admiring the scenery of the planet that you had learned to call home over the years. 

You stare at the miles and miles of luscious green forest below you, thinking about the fact that you probably ran past every single tree in that forest. The shift your gaze from the forest to the lake off in the distance. The water looks impeccably still and you focus on the reflection of the sun on the surface. The colour of the sun-set sky causing the water to look very blue, more blue than usual. You look from the lake to the temple, just barely in view and gauge the distance between you and your cot. Suddenly your exhaustion hits you like a rock wall and you stumble back a bit. You caught yourself before you could fall and instead slowly sit on the edge, letting the deadly fall taunt you as you feel your eyes slowly start to shut.

"All day, wow you really are slow. I must say I thought more of you, Y/N." A familiar voice says behind you. But instead of the running up to hug him, you are startled by his voice and lose your balance as you jump in fear. 

You feel yourself begin to fall, realizing that this will in fact kill you and you shut your eyes, waiting for the end. But instead of the cold, hard and dirty greeting you were expecting, you open your eyes to meet the soft brown eyes of Ben Solo as he holds on to your shirt, not breaking eye contact. A wave of relief passes over you as he begins to hoist you up over the edge and pulls you onto the ground. Once safe on the cliff again, you waste no time running up to him. 

"That's for making me run around all fucking day, you twat!" You scold as the back of your hand collides with his cheek. He looks both terrified and confused as he brings a hand to his now beet red cheek. 

"And that's for saving my life." You say softly into his shoulder as you throw your arms around his neck.

He is clearly startled and still confused and for a moment you are scared that you have been rejected but he eventually wraps his arms around your lower back and returns the hug. You take a deep breath, savouring the moment and the familiar scent of your best friend. He tightens his grip around your waist and squeezed your bodies together. After what you wished was an eternity, he finally lets go and to avoid an awkward moment, you do the same. 

"And that's for scaring me and making me jump in the first place." You say as you punch him hard in the abs, knowing very well that your knuckles will be bruised tomorrow. When your fist collides with his rock hard abdomen, you let out a quiet whimper and shake your hand out in hopes to remove the pain. He laughs a deep and genuine laugh, one that you hadn't heard in a while and throws his arm around your shoulder. 

He leads you to the edge of the cliff and you both sit down side by side. You look up at him and watch his smile fall as now you both realize why you came up here in the first place. 

"Now, we talk." You say letting your own smile drop, preparing for the news to come.

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed, feel free to comment and suggest things. also sorry for any spelling errors you may find


End file.
